Moving-Forward

MOVING FORWARD

You may feel alien in your own familiar world. You may feel numb. You may even feel a bit lost even though you know you are on the correct path. Sobriety is a lifestyle change that not only addresses the physical toxicity, but also the behavioral issues supporting the addiction. If you truly want to reinvent yourself and live the life you deserve; and to also share the best within you, you must address a variety of sectors if you wish for long-term success.

Since the path that brought you to the point of needing a lifestyle adjustment was long and complicated, the first thing to responsibly recognize is that your healing in recovery will take time as well. This healing will take strength and tenacity and must be an ongoing practice. To gain back your own self-respect, and from those around you, a commitment must be made to be willing to become honest, open, and willing to dedicate yourself to making lasting changes.

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THE PATH

Many will follow the recommended progression of seeking professional medical evaluation and observation to detoxify the system. Depending on what substances are in question as well as the duration and extent of abuse, trying to do this alone or unsupervised can be dangerous or even deadly! To insure proper and safe detoxification from chemical substances, seek guidance from a doctor or addiction treatment facility!

After detoxification, and to continue your treatment, it is often advised to enter into a treatment program either outpatient with a structured set of class times to attend, or on premises (in-patient) longer-term supervised care. Again, this determination is best achieved through licensed counselors, doctors, and treatment professionals. The duration of these programs is guided by the safe and progressive improvement of the individual and release from these programs is determined by the opinions of the regular caregivers who observe daily activities.

Once released from the care facility, most likely the person in recovery will be encouraged to attend a regimen of on-going aftercare, 12-Step meetings, and to develop a relationship with a program sponsor.

This is when your recovery gets serious if you are to maintain sobriety and your long-term goals!

It is upon release back into your "normal" environment that proper strategies are developed and practiced to overcome the challenges of re-integration into society, work, relationships, and the occurences that may have been a factor in disrupting your life in the past.

Utilizing the skills learned in treatment is essential, but once the person leaves the "safe-haven" of a treatment center, people can find themselves in peril without a personal go-to resource to be able to quickly adjust their sober strategies that may prove to save their life.

Many recovery groups and programs offer encouragement by simply listening to others’ messages and stories. It has been found in some groups that to thoroughly vocalize your own stories and concerns early on when it is most important is at times discouraged for the newcomer. Also the public forum can be intimidating to some who may not feel comfortable initially to share the nature of their personal situation aloud to the masses. At times one-on-one dialogue is most helpful to allow people to become comfortable with their new lifestyle. For some, personal support that complements another program, yet focuses on life strategies is a more effective combination. This is where peer support comes into play.

Although sobriety programs and networks are key to a person’s recovery, they can also benefit by supplementation.

Recovery Coaching is a resource to where a person in recovery can have ongoing personal attention and assistance in developing skills, schedules, networks, and new directions in maintaining a day-to-day stability leading to progressive improvement.

Recovery Coaches can share helpful direction based upon a personal and professional relationship with the client in recovery by listening to the arising needs of the person as they venture into a seemingly new world environment.

The role of the Recovery Coach is to focus forward and to guide the person in recovery, assisting them in navigating through the challenges that may be disruptive to their sobriety.* Since the job of a recovery coach is not to solely work on the steps of a program, it can be supplemental as the role is more expansive. They focus on physical, emotional, spiritual, social, environmental, and experiential development as well as schedule adjustment, strategies, and creating safe and healthy networks that can only complement other sober regimens.

Recovery Coaches are also an option for people who may not initially enter into "traditional" support programs to assist in their sobriety after treatment. Some may feel awkward for personal or discretionary reasons yet still need ongoing transitional assistance in staying sober. Without structure, and direction, a person can easily fall back into old habits without navigation, skills, accountability, and social connection. With a coach, the person in recovery can still gain the benefits of an ongoing support network and practice certain sober principles yet in a personally focused manner.

(* Read “Sponsor, Recovery Coach, Addiction Counselor: The Importance of Role Clarity and Role Integrity by William L. White here.)

Six Basic Components To Examine

Although every person’s path to recovery is personal and can be complicated, there are six basic components I like to examine. They are important sectors for personal growth not only in recovery but life in general. These components may or not be entirely relevant to what caused a person to derail, but can only help in getting back on track and improving the quality of life. These segments are also not always equal in balance and current need. Every person may find focusing on one more than another at a given time is helpful. Perhaps all need a little attention. The strategies and relevance of each component can be determined by the Recovery Coach and the client. You will see how many of these components complement one another.

PHYSICAL

Obviously in any chemical addiction situation the goal is to eradicate the substances from the body that are causing harm. This is done under the supervision of trained and qualified professionals and is best directed by your medical doctor and under his or her advisement.

Connection to nutritionists, dieticians, holistic health practitioners, and other professionals may help in creating a proper nutrition regimen aiding in the overall physical recovery. Often after long-term chemical addiction, the body has suffered certain damage and wear that may need to be addressed by dietary adjustments as well as medical supervision. What we eat greatly determines how we feel, our moods, energy, and quality of life. A coach can help hold you accountable for maintaining sufficient nutrition and regimens for achieving your goals. Holistic Health Practices can also offer alternatives for healthy living.

Since many people alter or cease their physical activities in an unhealthy way while using chemical substances; it is encouraged that a physical and/or exercise regimen be taken into consideration. This not only helps the body and mind to recover, but it also helps the body purge the substances from your system quicker and releases endorphins which help in natural mood elevation. There are many avenues and programs available to help people get back into a fitness regimen. Your current age, physical capabilities, and financial situation should have no barrier to your accessibility to some sort of plan even if developed for a personal at-home plan. This does not always mean one has to go running or jogging, or “hit the gym”, but healthy exercise is encouraged. A coach can help you seek and choose these options, and the professionals who can provide direction.

Often people who have gone through an addiction withdraw socially and restrict any and all activity. The gesture of simply going on a walk with a loved one can be a breakthrough. A bike ride with your children can be a great gesture to those around you that effort is being made. Creating new routines that are exclusively for your well being is one of the best gifts you can give yourself in recovery!

EMOTIONAL

We all have “stuff.” It is nothing to be ashamed of. However, finding strategies that allow us to handle this “stuff” is crucial in being able to abstain from addictive behaviors. Sometimes we need to “clean out our closet” of old situations that still haunt us. There are many professionals available who can help you privately deal with these occurrences. Whether they are of a chemical nature or a personal emotional nature stemming from an event, it is best to seek out a resource who may be able to best help you in dealing with past issues that may continue to arise becoming a barrier to your recovery. Your doctor can often provide a mental health referral. There are also other community programs available for this type of help.

Since the coach’s job focuses on progressive strategies and not to evaluate your past, he or she may advise you consult your doctor or other professional to get a referral for ongoing care in this area. There are many mental health resources available within most communities.

To move forward, your coach may offer you supportive techniques ranging from breathing skills, presence awareness, reframing, and other “non-medical” strategies you can have at your disposal to assist you in overcoming spontaneous challenges. There are many options to help assist development in emotional stability you can discuss with your coach.

SPIRITUAL

Spirituality is a very personal component. In this context it will be considered as embarking on a journey of “connection” to something beyond yourself. That need and interpretation is up to you. It is a search for meaning in a personally fulfilling context. It is a relationship and a personal one at that.

The role of a coach is not to impart religion or a belief system. The coach supports the journey of the individual but does not determine the details. Since spirituality is often an evolving process, it aligns with the idea that a newcomer to recovery is evolving as well. Spirituality on many levels confronts issues such as gratitude, compassion, acceptance, and forgiveness to name a few, which have been found to be essential in one’s personal development. It is not for a coach to engage in "confronting" dialogue pertaining to a personal chosen belief system. A coach should encourage people to seek out groups or materials that will perpetuate their maturation in recovery.

Reading, meditation, prayer, and other practices allowing one to become more present are always welcome in recovery and are proven to improve the quality of one’s life.

Religious principles and practices are best taught by their respective clergy. If these avenues are sought, a coach can help you research available resources.

SOCIAL

Social re-integration is an important part of recovery. Since people in active addiction often isolate themselves, it is wise to break that behavior pattern. Whether it is simply embarking on developing healthy routines in accomplishing personal chores, to shopping, to enjoying the company of family, social activities are helpful in reintegration.

The coach can help you create strategies for dealing with social situations should they become threatening or disarming. Your coach may even venture out with you on certain occasions to take the temperature of certain instances where uncertainty may present itself.

It is wise to start off in more therapeutic settings at first. After care groups, 12-Step meetings, religious events, or with supportive loved ones are best to test the waters. Creating effective “exit strategies” are paramount to dealing with old situations in a new way.

Also being able to maintain an acceptable composure is essential in stabilizing stressed relationships. Once the person who was once steeped in addiction starts recovery, they have to return to confront some of the collateral damage their behavior caused to those around them. Being able to take ownership and make amends may be challenging. This can take time. Forgiveness from others can take time as well. Working with a coach is a good way to get a healthy perspective on achieving this important part of recovery.

ENVIRONMENTAL

Going back to the same surroundings can be challenging–even if they were not directly related to your addiction. It is essential to remove anything that may trigger unwanted behavior. If you live with others or are in a public workplace, you may not have the luxury of being able to eliminate all the challenges. Your coach can help you determine skills to cope with these challenges.

This can be as extensive as moving to a new home or job or getting new relationships, to things as simple as creating little motivational “reminders” that discreetly nudge you along. A proper inventory of your daily environment is helpful to be able to prepare for any upcoming challenges. In a newly sober journey, simple items and places that were once inconsequential, can drum up challenging thoughts. It is also imperative to know what you can change, and what you cannot. This alone is crucial to recovery!

EXPERIENTIAL

It can be therapeutic to look at recovery as “getting a chance to experience everything again for the first time.” It is a time to allow you to form new opinions on things like holidays, time with family, fun events, and other simple daily routines. A “new you” can bring on a new appreciation for things that used to lead to negative behaviors.

Also while embarking on a new life journey, it is also a good time to try things that may have been put on hold or that you have always desired to do. Is there a workshop you have wanted to take, go back to college, or take an art class? The time that was once spent in destructive behavior must now be filled with new activities. The more heightened the experience, the more therapeutic they become. Engaging as many of your senses as you can helps stimulate the brain to enjoy newer and healthier activities.

Everything from Yoga, sports, swimming, cooking, writing, and volunteering/service work are enriching activities that stimulate the body and also tie in to many of the other areas listed here. Just because you may have “not liked” doing something in the past does not mean the “new you” will not like it now. Try new things and really feel the experience.

This list is not “all-inclusive” but sets up some of the parameters that have been found helpful in recovery. They create a core cross section of a healthy path to recovery regardless of the addictive substance.

Ask Yourself These Important Questions:

1. DO I WANT TO CHANGE?

Where is your motivation coming from? Recovery comes fastest and stays the longest when we want it for ourselves and for the right reasons! Sometimes it all starts by just looking at the possibilities and potential of taking a new direction.

The next question is:

2. DO I BELIEVE A CHANGE IS POSSIBLE?

Blessed are those who believe without seeing! Although at this point it can be difficult to see too far down the path, the key is to believe you can do anything for a day at a time (maybe even an hour at a time). Or if you are struggling, “Do you believe that I believe you can do it? I do!”

Then ask yourself:

3. WHAT BARRIERS DO I NEED TO OVERCOME?

These barriers can appear and disappear, so that is where the coach and other resources can be helpful. From counselors, coaches, to doctors and sponsors, this is where you arm yourself with the skills, tools, and support to insure your success is recovery. Personal strategies aid in your success to getting your life back on track!

Most importantly you may then ask and experience:

4. WHAT IS THE POSSIBLE “ALCHEMY” TO MY ADDICITION?

ALCHEMY – [al-kuh-mee] def. Any power or process of transmuting a common substance, usually of little value, into a substance of great value.

This is where one turns the proverbial lead into gold! Many who have been successful in recovery have considered their journey a gift! This enlightenment can indeed take time. However it is of the opinion that this is where the “recovery insurance” begins.

This is where after retrospect and personal searching, we find a way to begin anew by turning our once “negative” situation into a “positive” one. We can share our stories of recovery by perhaps saving another from venturing down the same path. We can lend our compassionate ear and heart to those who still suffer. We can become a resource to help others who have endured the same fear or damage to shed a light onto the path of recovery. These are skills that are hard learned and can be valuable training in helping others after we help ourselves!

Through this journey we also get a chance to gain a new appreciation for the things around us that we once perceived as common, mundane, normal, or simply took for granted In this new appreciation by gaining a new perspective, we radiate the joy of this lesson and can share with others we care for. It takes much more to take us down!

Most certainly we do not become “perfect”, but more so aware, in which this awareness is a gift in and of itself. Being able to become present, compassionate, grateful, and more loving to ourselves, makes us a benefit to those we serve and surround ourselves with. We can become better spouses, parents, children, employers, employees, volunteers, leaders, followers, and human beings.

How you do this is up to you! I am here to help!